Hey friend,
I'm holding a piece of notebook paper with a bicycle drawn on it, and I can't stop crying.
Let me back up.
It's been a minute since we've talked.
Some of you remember what I shared in June about my accident. Since then, my fast-paced, get 'r done way of handling life has slowed way down. Things aren't back to the old normal, and I'm learning they might not go back, and that's perfectly ok.
I'm learning to trust the process. Sometimes life, the universe, God, source, whatever you call it, slows you down so you can actually hear what's meant for you.
Today I heard it loud and clear.
The letter
If you didn't know, I'm also a realtor, and I love it as much as coaching. A few weeks ago I started helping a family who had just moved to Boise for Dad's new job: new city, new schools, new everything.
Today I got a letter from their two littles, ages 6 and 8.
Here's what it said:
"Thank you for helping our family find a house. You have been the best realtor ever. Thank you for showing good kindness. Thank you for everything you've done for our family. Thank you for letting us look at your house."
And the truth is... we haven't found "THE ONE" yet. We're still looking.
It came with a hand-drawn bicycle and a little teal bike keychain one of the boys made from his 3D printer.
It came on a day I didn't know I needed it. But I felt it... in a big way.
The question in the background
There's a question that's been running in the back of my mind for quite some time.
When you're living from your core, from the values that make you who you are, will your people find you? Are they even out there?
For me, those values are love, gratitude and connection. They're how I try to show up everywhere: with clients, with my family, with you.
Sometimes you wonder if anyone notices.
Then look at what's in this letter. "Thank you for showing good kindness." That's love. "Thank you" four times in one letter. That's gratitude. "Thank you for everything you've done for our family." That's connection.
All three, in pencil, on notebook paper.
The part that gave me chills
Some of you have heard me talk about BIKE before. If it's been a while, here's the refresher. It's how I try to move through life:
B: Be you. Show up as who you are at your core.
βI: Insight. Look for the learning moments.
βK: Kindness. Not niceties. Genuine, heartfelt kindness.
βE: Engage. Be there with people, in it with them, and see what you learn about yourself along the way.
Those littles had never heard me say a word about bicycles. And they drew me one, tucked a bike keychain in with their letter, and wrote "Thank you for showing good kindness."
You can call it coincidence. I call it a sign.
Be you. Your people will find you.
The real kind of kindness
Those little ones had no idea what I was carrying. They didn't write that letter to fix anything. They just noticed kindness and decided it was worth saying thank you for.
That's the thing about genuine, heartfelt kindness: you almost never get to see where it lands.
You sit with someone in a hard moment.
You tell someone exactly what they meant to you.
You show up when it's inconvenient.
Then you go on with your life, never knowing it was the thing that turned someone's day around.
Those of us who are used to being the helper, the one who holds it all together, are often terrible at receiving it. We brush it off: "Oh, it was nothing."
This time I didn't brush it off. I let it in, and it filled me right back up.
So here's what I'm leaving you with
Who are your people? And are you being enough of yourself for them to find you?
Don't shrink who you are or polish it into something easier to swallow. That's how your people find you. Sometimes they're grown-ups who get you. And sometimes they're 6 and 8 and show up with a bicycle keychain.
In June I told you my new normal was free to evolve and grow. Part of that turns out to be slowing down enough to let kindness all the way in, and to hear the answer when it shows up.
Be you. Your people will find you.
To my two little hearts: thank you. You have no idea what your letter meant to me. Welcome to Boise. You're going to love it here.
XOXO
Tonya
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