Hey friend,
This might sting a little, but you need to hear it.
Your speed has been your superpower. It built everything you have.
But you're not giving anyone else space to contribute. You answer before they finish. You solve before they offer. You move before anyone can keep up.
And that's why no one's stepping up anymore.
Real Talk: Does This Sound Familiar?
At work, when someone shares an idea - are you really listening? Or are you already solving it before they finish talking?
When you send a message to your team, do they get it? Or do you get the "wait, what?" replies because what made sense in your head came out cryptic?
When there's silence after a question, can you sit in it? Or do you jump in after two seconds because the pause feels uncomfortable?
At home, does anyone plan the weekend anymore? Or do they just wait for you to announce what's happening?
Here's the one that stings: Does anyone offer to help with dishes, laundry, or cleaning? Or have they stopped trying because you redo it your way anyway?
When your family does help, do you let them do it their way? Or are you hovering and correcting because it's not up to your standards?
Yeah. I thought so.
Here's What's Really Happening
Your speed was your superpower when it was just you.
Solo operator. Fast thinker. First one with the answer. That speed built everything you have.
But now you're building a team...at work AND at home.
And that same speed? It's leaving everyone behind.
It's 2025. Times have changed. People have changed.
You've accidentally trained everyone around you that their contributions don't matter.
Not because you're a bad leader or a bad person.
Because you never gave them space to finish a thought.
The Truth Nobody's Telling You
People aren't mind readers.
They need you to slow down enough to actually articulate clearly.
They need space to show up as themselves.
They need their thoughts to be welcomed, not pre-solved.
And that silence you hate? That's not dead air. That's thinking time.
Here's what changes everything:
When people feel seen, heard, and valued, they don't just show up. They lean in.
Collaboration gets easier. Ideas get bigger. Your team rises. Your family participates.
But it requires something different from you now.
Your speed was your superpower. But now? Slowing down is.
2026 is going to be your year to make the necessary adjustments to your thinking.
Trust me...it will be worth it!
The One Thing to Try This Week
Before you jump in with your answer, count to 5.
That's it. Just count. Nice and slow...
1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand, and so on and so forth.
Let the silence exist.
Let people finish their thoughts.
Ask "what else are you thinking?" and then actually wait for the answer.
Watch what happens when you create space instead of filling it.
Your team will step up because there's finally room to.
Your family will participate because they know their voice matters.
You'll stop exhausting yourself being the answer to everything.
You're Not Failing
You're leading... leading yourself in your daily life, at work and at home.
And that requires a different skill.
The skill isn't having all the answers. It's creating space for others to have some.
Be that person. The one who gives people a sense of being seen, heard, and valued.
That's the most important part.
You've got this.
XOXO
Tonya
P.S. What's one place where your speed is leaving people behind? Work? Home? Hit reply and let me know.
If this hit home and you're thinking, 'Okay, I need help with this'
Let's work on it together. I promise it's worth it.
Email me: hello@tonyakay.coโ
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(โยดโก`โ) Paradise , Boise, ID 83705
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