Hey, listen,
I'm going to tell you something you probably don't want to hear, but you NEED to hear it:
Your resolutions are bullshit.
Not because you're lazy.
Not because you lack discipline.
But because you've been playing a rigged game, and nobody told you the rules were broken.
Here's what actually happens every January:
You write down goals. You feel excited. You tell yourself THIS is the year.
And then, like clockwork, you're back to your old habits by February, feeling like a failure and wondering what the hell is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. The SYSTEM is broken.
Let me prove it to you.
A year ago, in January 2025, I had a client spend THREE HOURS writing their goals. They color-coded them. Printed them out. Laminated them. LAMINATED THEM.
Fast forward a few months. They come to me drowning. Completely underwater. And you know what they told me?
They couldn't even find that perfectly laminated sheet.
Those goals they spent three hours on? They didn't mean a damn thing. Because they never stopped to ask the most important question:
"Who am I trying to become, and do these goals even align with that person?"
So I asked them: "Do these goals actually matter to YOU, or are you just checking boxes you think you're supposed to check?"
They stared at me. Then said, "I have no idea."
And THAT is the problem.
You can't hit a target when you don't know what you're aiming at. You can't build a life you love when you don't even know what you value. You can't become the person you want to be when you've never stopped to ask WHO THAT PERSON EVEN IS.
So here's what you're going to do instead.
STEP 1: Get brutally honest about what actually matters to you.
These are called your core values. And here's the truth most people won't want to hear:
Most of you won't even do this step.
You'll half-ass it. You'll skim through. You'll write down some nice-sounding words like "family" and "success" without actually thinking about what they mean to YOU.
And then six months from now, you'll wonder why your goals don't feel aligned.
Why you're forcing yourself to show up.
Why nothing feels right.
This is why.
STEP 2: Assess where you REALLY are.
And I mean REALLY. Not where you tell people you are. Not where you wish you were. Where you are TODAYβin your health, your relationships, your work, your joy, your energy.
This is the hard part. Because you have to stop lying to yourself. You have to look at the truth and say, "Okay. This is where I am. Now what?"
I use a tool called the Wheel of Life to assess where I'm at. It's a visual way to get the truth on paper, no BS, no excuses.
Just you and reality having an honest conversation.
STEP 3: Identify the gap.
The space between where you are and where you want to be? That's not a failure. That's your ROADMAP. That's where you focus. That's where the work happens.
Nowβand ONLY nowβcan you set intentions that actually mean something.
Not goals you force yourself toward because some guru on the internet told you to. Intentions that are aligned with who you ARE and who you're BECOMING.
Here's what I need you to understand:
You're not here to change the world in 30 days.
You're not here to transform overnight.
You're not racing anyone.
You're here to make a difference EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
That's it. That's the whole game.
Intentional, simple steps to become more like the person you aspire to be, the best version of yourself.
One day at a time. One choice at a time. One 1% shift at a time.
Because here's the truth nobody's telling you:
The problem was never your discipline. The problem was never your willpower. The problem is that you've been trying to build someone else's life instead of YOUR OWN.
And that ends today.
Look, I get it. This isn't the fluffy, "set your intentions and manifest your dreams" advice you were expecting. But I'm not here to make you feel good. I'm here to help you get RESULTS.
So here's what I want you to do:
Stop what you're doing. Download the "Lead From Where You Are" workbook. And do the work.
Inside, you'll get the complete step-by-step process:
π₯ A values exercise that cuts through the noise and shows you what REALLY matters (plus how to prioritize them when life gets messy)
π₯ The Wheel of Life assessment so you can stop guessing and start measuring where you actually are (with the specific questions that force you to get honest)
π₯ The Gap Analysis that gives you your exact starting point (this is where most people have their breakthrough)
π₯ A 90-day action plan that turns awareness into momentum (because knowing what to do means nothing if you don't actually DO it)
[Get the workbook here, it's free, and it works]
No more "I'll start Monday." No more "I'll do it when I have time." No more excuses.
You're going to do this NOW. Because the only person who can change your life is YOU. And you already have everything you need to start.
You just have to decide you're worth it.
Are you? (I think you are =))
xo
Tonya
Get the workbook here, it's FREE, and it works
|
|
|
P.S. When you do the work and I mean ACTUALLY do it, reply and tell me what you discovered. Not because I need to hear from you, but because saying it out loud makes it real.
β
β