It's the energy vampires.
You know that feeling when you leave a meeting or conversation and you just feel... heavy?
Not sad. Not angry. Just flat. Ho-hum. Drained.
And you can't even figure out why?
Here's what's happening: You just absorbed someone else's negativity. And you didn't even see it coming.
The Lie We've Been Sold
We've been told to "just be positive." To "choose happiness." To "not let negativity bring you down."
But here's what nobody tells you: You can't positive-think your way out of negativity.
You can't just decide to "be positive" when you're sitting in a room with someone who sees everything as half-empty, who apologizes for existing, who makes everything about them when it has nothing to do with them.
That energy? It's contagious. And it's draining you.
You're In One Of Two Camps
Camp 1: You absorb everyone's negativity without realizing it. You leave conversations feeling heavy. You don't know what to do, so you just... take it all in.
Camp 2: You try to fix everyone's negativity. You force positivity. You think if you can just stay upbeat enough, they'll snap out of it.
Either way - you're exhausted.
And here's the real problem: You don't have the tools to do anything about it.
So you just... shut down. Keep your mouth shut. Hope they'll snap out of it.
You think maybe if you just wait it out, the energy will shift. Or you'll figure out how to shake it off later.
But you don't know HOW to shake it off. You don't know what to DO in that moment.
So everyone gets dragged down.
You leave feeling heavy. They stay stuck in negativity. Nothing shifts.
And you're exhausted.
Here's What Actually Works
You can't skip the feeling. You can't bypass the negativity and jump straight to positive.
You have to feel it first. Identify it. See it. THEN choose what to do with it.
Here's how:
Notice when you're being drained.โ
That ho-hum feeling after a conversation? That's your signal. Don't ignore it. Pay attention.
Feel the negativity - don't bypass it.โ
Stop trying to positive-think your way out. Actually feel what's happening. "I feel heavy. I feel drained. I absorbed their energy."
See it for what it is.โ
Ask yourself: Is this MY energy? Or did I just take on theirs?
Is this about me? Or did they make it about them when it had nothing to do with them?
Choose to do something different with it.โ
You don't have to carry what isn't yours.
You're allowed to feel the negativity and choose not to hold onto it.
Audit yourself.โ
Do you follow the crowd into negativity? Or do you rise above for your own mental health?
This is your self-check. Your moment to choose.
The Truth You Need
Protecting your energy isn't selfish. It's necessary.
You don't have to fix everyone's mood.
You don't have to absorb everyone's negativity.
You don't have to force positivity to be valuable.
You're allowed to feel what you feel. Acknowledge the negativity. And then choose not to carry it.
That's not toxic positivity. That's self-preservation.
Try This
This week, notice when you leave a conversation feeling drained.
Don't judge it. Don't try to immediately "be positive."
Just notice it.
Then ask yourself:
"Is this mine? Or did I absorb this from someone else?"
If it's not yours - put it down.
Say out loud (or in your head): "I'm allowed to feel this AND choose not to carry it."
Then do one thing to shift your energy:
- Take a walk
- Call someone who fills you up
- Listen to music that lifts you
- Change your environment
Watch how everything shifts when you stop trying to force positivity and start protecting your energy instead.
Ready For Your Breakthrough?
Let's talk: [Chat with me] or hello@tonyakay.co
XOXO,
Tonya
P.S. What's draining you that you're ready to stop carrying?
โ