Hey, I'm Tonya Kay. I also answer to 'boundary queen'

It Doesn't Matter What They Think Of You The Ultimate Power Move Hey there, hi Hold on to your hats, friends, this is going to BLOW YOUR MIND!!! "Emotional maturity is letting people be wrong about you." Let that sink in for a moment. (It may take more than a moment because, truth be told, it's taken me a while to be OK with this) It's understanding that their narrative about who you are has nothing to do with who you actually are. Talk about freedom! BOOM!! But also... so much harder than it...

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE LOSING IT? WHAT IF IT'S NOT ABOUT TIME MANAGEMENT? Hey you, Hi! Here's a question that stopped me in my tracks: What if your exhaustion isn't about time management, but about energy management? I know, I know - another thing to manage, right? But stay with me because this might be the game-changer you've been looking for. We've mastered our calendars. (check) We've optimized our schedules. (check) We've downloaded every productivity app known to humankind. (double and...

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU... PERCEPTION SHIFT The Surprising Truth About What Others Think Hey there, hi Can we talk about perceptions for a minute? This might just change the way you see yourself and others—and the roles we play in each other’s stories. You know what I’ve been thinking lately? How we’re all stars in our own lives but supporting characters in everyone else’s. And here’s the mind-blowing part: most of the time, it’s not even about us. Think about this. In some people’s stories,...

"I'M JUST PASSIONATE" When Your Love for Work Sends Mixed Messages Hey friend, Let’s talk about something I hear all the time from successful, driven folks: “I don’t expect my team to work like I do. I’m just passionate about this business.” Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve said it yourself. I know I have. It comes from a good place—genuine enthusiasm for what you’ve built, a deep commitment to your clients, and an authentic love for your work. But here’s the question that’s been nagging at me...

The Cost of Empty Promises ARE YOU WORTH YOUR WORD? The Hidden Cost of Good Intentions Without Follow-Through YIKES...no one wants to be 'THAT' person. We believe we are as good as our word, but is it really true? I know you're intentions are good, but we need to have an honest conversation about something we’ve all done (and said): “Let’s get together soon!” "I’ll definitely call you this week.” “We should talk about that next time we meet.” “I’ll get back to you on that.” Sound familiar?...

The BS We Keep Telling Ourselves "Just put your head down and work harder." ...But at what cost? Hey friend, Hi! I'm just going to jump right in here...can we talk about the most dangerous piece of advice in business today? You know the one I'm talking about... "Just put your head down and work harder." It sounds innocent enough, right? Maybe even inspirational. After all, hard work is how you got where you are today. This well-intentioned advice is actually the silent killer of your joy,...

THE TINY TAX NO ONE THINKS ABOUT The Real Reason You're So Tired It's not your schedule, your age, or your workload (it's the hidden decision tax nobody warns you about) Hey you, Hi! Ever notice how you can be so tired at the end of a day, even though you can't point to anything particularly demanding that you did? It's like your brain ran a marathon while your body was just sitting in meetings. There's an invisible thief stealing your energy, and it's probably not what you think. It's not...

BEYOND BURNOUT WHY YOUR TO-DO LIST ISN'T THE PROBLEM Stop managing your time. Start mastering your energy! Hey friend! Ever notice how some days you power through your to-do list but still feel completely drained, while other days you tackle everything on your list and still have energy to burn? Here's the BIG question... What if we've been focusing on the wrong thing all along? We've mastered our calendars, downloaded every productivity app, and optimized our schedules to perfection. Yet...

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD... The Shift That Changes Everything (Part 3) From "Let Them" to "Let Me" - This is where it gets really good... Hey you, Hi! These past two weeks, we've talked about the power of "Let Them" and why letting go changes everything. But today? Today is where it gets REALLY good. Because there's another shift that's even more powerful: From "Let Them" to "Let Me" (Stay with me here, because this is the part that literally changed my life) Here's what I mean: Instead of...